Before I say anything else I just want to say I’m very sorry to the Chowanec family. Stay strong Joe.
I just got back from my friend’s grandpas viewing. First off, I absolutely hate viewings. They’re just so sad, theres no positive in them at all. You have to see the whole family lined up balling there eyes out or trying to keep it together and they have to shake everyones hand or give out hugs. Like they actually want to do that? They have enough going on in their life at the moment. Regardless, everyone goes through with it. Maybe some people don’t mind it, but I know I do.
It just sucks having to look in the casket and see whomever laying there. They don’t even look real due to all the shit they have to put on you to preserve you. That gets to me everytime. But in that few moments where you have to look down at that person in the casket, your thoughts could be on anything. Why so soon? Is this what I will look like? What happens after death? It sucks. I hate to even talk about it, but I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it when I have to do that for someone in my immediate family. I can’t even talk about that anymore it just honestly gives me the creeps.
I went to a viewing almost 2 years ago for Tyler Kubilus. He went to Lakeland and died in a quad accident in September. I played him soccer every year in high school. I can’t remember if he was one year older than me or if we were the same age, but regardless we were both just kids. My mom is actually friends with his aunt so we ended up going to the viewing. I was normal emotionally when I first walked in, I was just waiting in line. I finally was up near the casket and they had many things sitting around there. A packers flag, Xbox games, and just other personal items. I got up to the casket and looked in, and I couldn’t stop crying. It wasn’t fair to me that someone my age had to die. A whole life that was unlived, just laying in that casket. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.
I think about this type of shit very often. What will I be remembered for when I die? I’ve done many various things in my life, but what will people think of when they hear “Jeffrey Kline.” What will my family and friends do? I hope I would have made a big of enough impact on their life that they won’t forget me. Sure there will be a lot of people at my viewing and funeral, but who be the ones that remember me after those are over? Everyone has fears. People are afraid of spiders, heights, balloons, tests, girls, college, and everything in between. You may ask what my biggest fear is. Honestly, my biggest fear? I fear everyone will forget me..